You’ve probably heard of the golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. But what about the platinum rule? The platinum rule shifts the focus from how you want to be treated to how others want to be treated. This simple, yet powerful, shift can transform how we communicate and lead.

In this post, let’s unpack how to apply the platinum rule with different people, especially those challenging team members who drive you bonkers. The good news? People might seem difficult and confusing at times, but they are also remarkably predictable.

In my workshops, I dive deep into these communication styles, but for now, here are some key highlights to help you connect better with anyone on your team.

Why the Platinum Rule Matters

For years, I believed that direct, blunt communication was the best way to get things done—and it worked… until it didn’t. Over time, I realized that effective leadership means meeting people where they are and speaking their language. By adjusting your approach to their communication preferences, you build stronger connections, increase trust, and become a more effective leader.

The Direct and Decisive Type

If someone is straightforward, to the point, and maybe even a bit intense, they appreciate communication that mirrors their style. Be bright, be brief, and be gone. Get to the point quickly without unnecessary fluff. When you communicate this way, they’ll feel understood and respected.

The Energetic Storyteller

These folks are lively, love to share stories, and generally have a magnetic personality. If you’re more reserved, it might be tempting to tune them out, but they appreciate it when you take time to listen and engage. If you’re more reserved, try to match their energy while still being yourself.  Also, sharing stories that resonate with them can strengthen your connection.

The Steady Team Player

For the calm, reliable people who seek harmony and want everyone to get along, intensity can be off-putting. Lower your energy level when interacting with them and emphasize how their contributions fit into the bigger picture. They value peace and stability, so showing them they matter in the team dynamic can go a long way.

The Analytical Perfectionist

Some people thrive on details, precision, and thorough answers. If you’re intense or vague with these folks, it can lead to frustration. Communicate with a clear plan, provide all the necessary details, and patiently answer their questions. If you don’t immediately have the answers, commit to finding them and communicate them when you do. This builds trust and confidence.

No two people communicate exactly the same way, but their differences are predictable. When you apply the platinum rule, you’ll notice smoother interactions, less frustration, and stronger team cohesion.

Think about someone on your team or in your life with whom you want a better connection. Which communication style fits them? How can you adjust your approach to treat them the way they want to be treated? Start there.

If you found this insight helpful, I encourage you to share it with others who might benefit. If you want to learn more about a customized workshop to help you understand the communication styles of each member on your team and your own style, contact me to set up a discovery meeting and explore this opportunity.  Keep connecting and lead well!

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