Maybe you have noticed that one of your team members has a reserved, team-oriented personality style – also known as an “S” personality according to the DISC assessment – and you must have a difficult conversation with them. Perhaps they’re not speaking up in team meetings or seem hesitant to take on leadership roles. Whatever the issue may be, as a leader, it’s important to address it head-on.

People with this personality are known for being steady, stable, and sensitive. They value harmony and avoid conflict at all costs. They can be loyal and dependable team members, but they may struggle with assertiveness and decision-making. As a leader, it’s important to understand how to approach difficult conversations with S personalities in a way that respects their preferences while still addressing the necessary issues.

Here are some tips on how to handle difficult conversations with S personalities:

Schedule a private, one-on-one meeting

When addressing a difficult issue with this individual, create a safe and comfortable environment for the conversation. If appropriate, schedule a private meeting where you can speak with them one-on-one. Avoid addressing the issue in a group setting, as this may make them feel targeted and defensive.

Be empathetic and understanding

This individual values harmony and is sensitive to the emotions of others. Approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. Acknowledge their feelings and let them know that you understand their perspective. This will help to create a sense of trust and openness.

Focus on how their actions impact the team

When discussing the difficult issue, focus on the impact of their actions rather than placing blame. This individual values being a team player. Because of this, they may be more responsive to feedback framed in a way that shows how their actions affect the team or the business as a whole. Whenever possible, use specific examples to illustrate the impact of their behavior.

Maintain a friendly tone

Since this individual does not like confrontation there is no reason to communicate in an aggressive tone. Be friendly while being firm. Avoid being confrontational or accusatory, as this may cause them to become defensive. Instead, approach the conversation with the mindset of finding a solution together, and express empathy for their perspective and feelings. By maintaining this tone you will increase trust and decrease they become defensive.

Follow up and offer ongoing support

After the difficult conversation, following up with the S personality to check their progress and offer ongoing support is essential. They may take longer to process feedback and make changes, so be patient and understanding. Offer to discuss the issue further if they have any questions or concerns.

Since this individual prefers to maintain peace and not have confrontation, difficult conversations can be a challenge. They are essential to ensure continual development and team cohesion. As you consider the tips suggested which one do you need to apply? Do you want to understand your style so you can connect more effectively with those you lead? Go here to invest in an assessment with a personalized debrief so you can communicate and connect more effectively with every person. Lead Well!

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