Remember being on a see-saw, or teeter-totter, as some called them? If you push down too hard, the other person goes flying, but if you don’t put enough force, the other person fails to move. Leading can be like that. You want to be assertive and make sure that your team members are clear on their responsibilities, but you also want to show compassion and empathy toward them.

Both qualities are essential for effective leadership, but managing this tension can be challenging. In this blog post, we’ll explore the importance of managing the tension of assertiveness and compassion as a leader and provide some practical tips for achieving this balance.

Assertiveness involves confidently expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs, while also respecting the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others. An assertive leader is able to make decisions decisively, communicate expectations clearly, and stand up for what they believe in. This quality is crucial for maintaining a sense of direction and stability within a team or organization.

Compassion as a leader builds trust and loyalty within your team. Listening to your team members’ concerns and supporting them in their personal and professional growth increases trust. Showing your team you care about their well-being creates a positive and supportive work environment where team members feel valued and motivated.

Balancing assertiveness and compassion is challenging. Being too assertive can lead to a lack of empathy and alienate team members, while being too compassionate can result in indecisiveness and an inability to make tough decisions. So, how can you find the right balance as a leader?

Active listening

This involves giving your full attention to your team members, acknowledging their thoughts and feelings, and responding in a respectful and empathetic manner. By actively listening, you demonstrate compassion and create an open, supportive environment for your team.

Set Boundaries and Be Open

Healthy leaders set clear expectations and boundaries while also being open to feedback. Clearly communicating your expectations and boundaries shows assertiveness, while being open to feedback and considering the perspectives of others demonstrates compassion. This approach encourages a healthy exchange of ideas and fosters a collaborative, inclusive environment.

Be the Example

Our actions are the example in this area. Show your team members that you value both assertiveness and compassion by modeling these qualities in your own behavior. Be confident in your decisions, communicate clearly and confidently, and show understanding and empathy towards others.

Managing the tension between assertiveness and compassion as a leader requires self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and ongoing reflection. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, and the balance may shift depending on the needs of your team and the circumstances you face. By continuously evaluating your leadership style and seeking feedback from others, you will know which side to lean into and become a more effective and influential leader.

Growing in these areas is a process. Actively listening, setting clear expectations, and leading by example help you become a more effective and respected leader. Remember that achieving this balance is an ongoing process, and committing to continual growth and self-improvement will help you to lead with confidence, compassion, and strength.  Need help in any of these areas?  Contact me to explore ways I may be able to serve you and your team to grow in any of these areas.  Lead well!

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