I was reading an article in Harvard Business Review about “How to Develop Your Leadership Style.”¹  As I read about what the author called “power” and “attractive” styles it made me think about how we need to show up as leaders.

I tend to lean toward extremes. If I am honest, this is because extremes are easier than dealing with tensions. So, what do we do as leaders? How can we navigate the tensions of being a strong, powerful leader vs. being a more relational leader?

Before going further, this is not a good vs. bad.  Situations require different approaches and as the author mentions in the article, our leadership style changes while our personality is more fixed.

Power Approach

I will define a power approach as a more authoritarian approach.  At its extreme, think of the “my way or the highway” mindset.  This approach has times when it is appropriate.  For example, if there is an emergency and a decision needs to be made quickly, the leader needs to take charge.  If a leader always uses this approach, people will operate in fear.

When used appropriately, this approach helps the leader assure the team he or she is confident.  I would suggest it should be genuine confidence.  For example, a football coach uses this when making critical decisions on 4^th and goal.  Other times during the game the coach listens to his staff’s input and they decide the best course of action.

Relational Approach

This is the leader who comes across as dynamic, friendly, and approachable.  People may call this leader charismatic.  Leaning too much into the power approach can cause the team to fear the leader.  On the other hand, being extreme with the relational approach can cause task-oriented team members to either not respect or even undermine the leader.

This approach can be extremely helpful when negotiation is necessary.  Also, if the team is working on a complicated project where the leader needs multiple inputs, this approach will be extremely valuable.

Read and Connect

How do we show up then?  In multiple past blogs, I’ve discussed leadership tensions as well as in some of my leadership lesson videos.  Here are a few ideas on how to adjust our style:

1. Read the room – does the room need you to show up strong and confident with clear direction or empathetic and relational?
2. Connect – what will connect with the team? Do they need you to be directive so they know what to do or will they feel your connection if you walk slowly and talk to everyone?
3. Understand the situation – the room may be acting as if they need you to be powerful, but the situation may call for you to calm the room and be relational.

Great leaders know how to adjust their style as their people and the situation require. What are you doing to adjust your leadership style? Change is uncomfortable and awkward, but getting to where you want to go may require you to lead in ways you have not . . . until now. Need someone to walk alongside you during this growth process? Contact me about a leadership coaching session. Keep growing and leading well.

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1. https://hbr.org/2020/11/how-to-develop-your-leadership-style